You are standing in a moderately-sized room, fitted with a fetching lilac wallpaper. There is a desk in the middle of the room. On the desk sits an unopened plastic box, a wallet, a closed file and another unopened plastic box. In the corner of the room sits another unopened plastic box. There are doors exiting to the west, northeast and south, the latter of which is preceded by another unopened plastic box.
> OPEN PLASTIC BOX
Which Plastic Box would you like to open?
> OPEN PLASTIC BOX ON TABLE
Which Plastic Box on the table would you like to open?
> OPEN FIRST PLASTIC BOX ON TABLE
> You open the Plastic Box.
It is unfortunately empty.
> TAKE WALLET
Taken.
> TAKE FILE
The File is 2 metres thick and consequently too heavy to carry.
> OPEN FILE
You open the file. The front page reads "The Kettle Review: The Complete Archives."
Continue reading?
> YES
You turn to a different page. The article is entitled "Siemens Porsche TW911P2".
> READ
What do you want to read?
> READ ARSICLE
There isn't an arsicle in this room.
> READ ARTICLE
"... The latest effort by German technological giants Siemens, from its stylish Porsche range, is an updated version of the smash hit TW91100 kettle, which remained a bestseller for over five years. It succeeds in living up to the tremendous reputation set by its predecessor, boasting a boil time of less than two minutes, a handy multi-directional base and a professional looking aluminium design, as well as a double sided water level indicator for ease of use and a stainless steel filter. It also comes with a fetching blue LED built into the switch, indicating activity in a subtly beautiful way. The model comes with a matching toaster, though is available individually brand new for the recommended retail price of £74.99 ..."
Your desire to own a Siemens Porsche has increased.
> LOOK
You are standing in a moderately-sized room, fitted with a fetching lilac wallpaper. There is a desk in the middle of the room. On the desk sits an empty plastic box, an open file and an unopened plastic box. In the corner of the room sits another unopened plastic box. There are doors exiting to the west, northeast and south, the latter of which is preceded by another unopened plastic box.
> OPEN ALL PLASTIC BOXES
You open all Plastic Boxes in the room.
The second Plastic Box on the table is locked.
The Plastic Box in the corner contains a key for the locked Plastic Box.
The Plastic Box to the south was a figment of your imagination.
> USE KEY ON SECOND PLASTIC BOX ON TABLE
You don't have the Key.
> TAKE KEY
Taken.
> USE KEY ON SECOND PLASTIC BOX ON FABLE
The moral of the game is: learn to type properly.
You unlock the second Plastic Box on the table. It contains a biscuit.
> TAKE BISCUIT
All of your previous actions are undone, forcing you to start all over again.
You feel that sufficiently takes the biscuit.
...
You are standing in a moderately-sized room, fitted with a fetching lilac wallpaper. There is a desk in the middle of the room. On the desk sits an unopened plastic box, a wallet, a closed file and another unopened plastic box. In the corner of the room sits another unopened plastic box. There are doors exiting to the west, northeast and south, the latter of which is preceded by another unopened plastic box.
You have an odd desire to possess a Siemens Porsche kettle.
> TAKE WALLET
Taken.
> GO WEST
Life is peaceful there.
> GO NORTHEAST
Only Arriva and Scarlet Band operate services in this town.
> GO SOUTH
You are standing in front of your house. There is an appliance store to the south, and a road into town heading east. A large troll blocks your way west.
> TALK TO TROLL
You speak to the troll.
He grins fiendishly at you and says "U mad, bro?"
> GO SOUTH
You are at the entrance to an appliance store. A pathway leads north to the main road.
> ENTER STORE
You are standing in the appliance store. The store is tastefully furnished with all manner of brand new, modern electrical appliances, including vacuum cleaners, dishwashers, kettles, miniature ovens and motorised kitchen sinks.
There is a Siemens Porsche kettle on the display. You feel a strong desire to purchase it.
> TAKE SIEMENS PORSCHE
The store's CCTV system watches you like a hawk. You refrain from stealing the Siemens Porsche in light of this.
> OPEN WALLET
You have £70 in your Wallet.
You don't think you have enough to purchase the Siemens Porsche.
> EXAMINE SIEMENS PORSCHE
The Siemens Porsche looks, and seems to function, exactly as you imagined it would.
Upon closer inspection, you notice a label beneath the Siemens Porsche.
> READ LABEL
"SPECIAL OFFER: £65.99 (RRP £74.99)"
> BUY SIEMENS PORSCHE
With enough money to buy the Siemens Porsche, you take it over to the counter. The cashier seems to be absent, however.
There is a bell on the counter marked "Customer Waiting".
> RING BELL
You ring the bell. It says "Ding".
Nothing happens.
> RING BELL
You ring the bell a second time.
Nothing happens.
> RING BELL
You ring the bell a third time.
You are ambushed and killed to death by a vicious arsicle.
The cashier later arrives and discovers your lifeless carcass in front of the counter, accompanied by a bloodstained Siemens Porsche kettle. He picks up the kettle, gives it a quick wipe down with his shirt sleeve and returns it do the display. He then picks up the staff telephone and calls for his supervisor.
"Brenda? Could you pop round to the supermarket and get some more arsicle traps? Yeah, it happened again. Near the kettles this time. Cheers."
YOU HAVE DIED
GAME OVER
Progress: 3%
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